dwindling…

my to-do list has dwindled considerably. With the frustrating exception of items 20 and 21.  #20 was to address and mail my christmas cards. #21 was to buy stamps at the post office. Well, I got #20 addressed, but not mailed because said post office closes early on Saturday. Argh. And there’s no stamp vending machine inside the lobby. Double argh.

Also dwindling are the number of family members at home today. The Mister’s been gone all week to Japan.  Thing 3 had a scheduled sleep-over birthday party FAR FAR AWAY (Pennsylvania).  Then Friday night I learned of Things 1 and 2’s impending plans that also included sleepovers.

Holy cow! For the first time in my married with children life, I am all alone in my house (in my book, being alone on a business trip doesn’t quite count). For nearly 18 hours. I’m beside myself with indecision: dance in the streets? delish dinner for 1? unrestrained christmas shopping? movies? knitting? House Hunters International?

Also dwindling (albeit slowly) is my hip/butt discomfort.  (I really can’t call it pain when i read accounts of other people’s complete inability to sit or drive or move because of their hip/butt issues). The ART/PT is going well.  I’m trying really hard to be diligent about my stretching and strengthening exercises.  I’d been doing PT 2x week, but with my impending trip to Paducah, we’re backing it down to 1x/week.  I think this will work.  I had wanted to jump right into my Surf City half marathon training plan, but for right now, I’m going to stick to 4x per week: 3 short and one long. Next month I’ll mix it up a bit (hills, strides, etc.), but I don’t want this injury to sideline me into 2013, so easy does it, i guess, for now.

Which I think should upset me more than it does, and perhaps, this is yet another instance of dwindling…dwindling mojo.  I’m not sure what it is, but I’ve been having a hard time maintaining my excitement, drive, motivation over the past few weeks.  I had started running in the summer of 2011 because of some issues I was trying to work through.  Those caused me to lose some sleep, and I figured if I was up that early, I may as well do something productive, so I started walking, then running.  I’m not sure if running helped me reach any decisions, but those issues have subsided and a few weeks ago, I basically buried them.

And since that time, I’ve felt a bit unmoored.  I’m not sure this lack of mojo is solely due to my resolving those questions, but I do recognize that those questions were a great motivator.  Yet, if I dig a little deeper, I can also recognize that this fall has been one for the record books in terms of awfulness and stress–the storm and the damage it caused to my work and my program and my dying mother-in-law (she passed away last Sunday) being two of the bigger worries and stresses.

I’m hoping that an upcoming trail race with some friends and much-need vacation starting 12/19 will be what it takes to get me back on track.  I want to enjoy my running, and I know I can, so I guess I’ve got to dig a bit deeper right now.

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