At what point does it end? At what point can I stop worrying?
About those extra 5 lbs? About inactivity? About silly numbers?
Today I saw my orthopedist. I like him alot (although his practice has a cheesy name). His first question to me is always: “what’s your training and race schedule look like?” He’s a runner, too, and he gets it. And by “it” I mean the fear of how injury can affect your training, endurance, speed, etc.
Anyways, on the positive side, he thinks I have a severe case of tendonitis, but knowing that I’ve got some races in May and that I don’t want to sit around for two weeks to wait for a sfx to show up on a regular x-ray, he ordered an MRI to rule it out. Tomorrow I go for that, with the reading appointment on Thursday. Meanwhile, I’m supposed to stay seated, foot up, and ice, every two hours for 20 minutes.
Frozen edamame–they’re the new frozen peas.
So why the grumpy mood? Well, I enjoy running for a lot of reasons, and one of the bigger ones is that it helps me keep my weight down. I’m a tall girl, but slight, and in my mid-40s weight started creeping on my body and it would not let go. I started running not specifically to lose weight, but when it happened, it was a nice bonus. So, with the doc’s admonishment to “stay put or else I’ll slap a plaster cast on you” (because he knows I like to push the envelope) I began to worry. About weight gain.
I returned home to this:
Lose those 5lbs! Yikes. With all this inactivity (yes, 5 days of doing nothing counts as inactivity), I could feel those 5 lbs immediately coming to find me!
Later in the afternoon, I got out my tunic pattern for my upcoming sewing class. I needed to trace the pattern onto tracing paper so that the pattern would stay intact. The pattern goes from size 2-20, and I’m usually between a 6 or an 8. Since I float in between, I decided to read the pattern’s size dimensions to see where I fit.
And I’m squarely between a 10 and a 12! Egads! WTF? No running! Lose 5lbs, and now a size 10-12? A panicky text to my friend calmed me slightly when she (a more experienced sewer) said that sewing patterns were not part of the vanity sizing so popular in ready-to-wear. (That makes sense. My wearing a size 6 from the Gap really doesn’t.)
But all of these indicators, all day long, one after the other, have set me on edge. Really, at what point can I forget about the numbers? It seems I’ve spent my entire life from the age of 10 on wishing I was either shorter or thinner. When do I get to make peace with my body? Clearly the ball’s in my court–this is something that I’ve proactively got to take charge of. I’m guessing now’s the time to start.
On a lighter note, I just love Pink, and on the way back from the ortho, this song came on the radio. LOVE it.