The seasons are changing. The greens of the grass and leaves are looking tired. The sun is getting lower. Mornings start later. Nights come earlier. Days are crisp and cool(er). I absolutely love fall, but ever since September 11 and more recently with Hurricane Sandy, I now move forward with a slight cringe–“what could possibly be waiting in the wings this year?” is a thought always in the back of my mind.
That, and onslaught of crazy pinterest shit, paralyzes me.
So I’ve been holed up for the past week or so, decompressing from Japan, getting the Things ready for school (then scrambling during the day off for the Jewish holidays, then school again), and trying to gain some solid footing while simultaneously squelching that Negative Nellie in my gut.
Typically when this mood strikes, I turn to my regular diversions–running, knitting, reading, mindless TV. This time around though, this is backfiring. Maybe my choices are off, but I feel as though my mantra has become “chunk it out, chunk it out” to slog my way through everything.
My reading (The Selected Letters of Willa Cather) is making me jealous. Such a phenomenal mind. And oh to live in a time period where you could just take off and live/travel abroad for months at a time! So I put it down for The Grapes of Wrath, and now I’m sadder.
On the TV front, I decided to wean myself from House Hunters International (the Mister is quite happy about this–he’s not a fan of HGTV), and instead, I’ve started on a Broadchurch marathon. Only 4 episodes have shown so far, but I have to watch each 2 or 3 times to catch all the dialogue. I absolutely love it, but it’s not much of a mood changer. It’s more along the lines of bringing Wallander to a kid’s birthday party as the clown.
Running has been going well enough. My mileage is at an all time high. My hips, hammies are feeling ok, but there’s just a lack of oomph. The Reach the Beach relay I was looking forward to got cancelled by the organizers, and somehow, without a set goal (I’ve got a couple of other options I’m working on), I’m floundering. I’ve tried mixing up my playlists and routes, but each run has felt more like a chore than a joy. Each run becomes an endless “get to the street light. ok, now to the 5th driveway past the tree. alright, now to the stop sign..”
And then my usual fallback: knitting. My yarn for Mekko arrived, and I was so excited to cast on. Except that I didn’t have the correct size needle. This just kills me. WHO ON EARTH SELLS THEIR OWN YARN STORE WITHOUT ENSURING SHE HAS ALL THE FREAKIN’ NEEDLES IN ALL THE FREAKIN’ SIZES BEFOREHAND? Oh, that would be me. Saturday I finally had the chance to get the correct size needles (grrr–hate paying retail for stupid mistakes), and I cast on.
Five hours later this is where I am:
Row 15. About 2.5″ into the dress. There 312 stitches per round. I’ve done 15 rounds (plus 8 more for the hem). That’s 7,176 stitches knit. Over 5 hours. That’s 1,435 stitches per hour. Right now it takes me about one hour to run 6 miles. Which means in one mile I would knit 239 stitches. Which makes me wonder, which would be faster–running to San Diego or knitting this dress in time for my January trip to San Diego? (you can see why I didn’t go into engineering. completely faulty logic and math)
And, the icing on the cake…today I stepped on the bathroom scale for the first time in 2013. Yep, that’s right, the first time. And the number was higher than usual. I sorta suspected this, as a fave pair of jeans were a bit snug. And they’re that slouchy kind of jean. That are not meant to be snug. Apparently, I have taken the “chunking it out” mantra to a whole new level. As it is Monday though, it was an appropriate day to start fresh. So I downloaded My Fitness Pal, plugged in my details, and voila, it came up with a magic calorie number for my daily goal: 1200.
1200! For the entire day, not just breakfast! And on day 1, I went 40 calories over my limit with my large iced coffee (plus 2 tbs of cream), 1/2 c of Grape Nuts cereal and 1/2 c of non-fat milk (breakfast), 1 apple, 2 oz of piave vecchio cheese, 12 pretzels and 1/2 c hummus (lunch), and 1/2 serving of dinner (3/4 c of chicken breast and farfalle pasta in a lemon cream sauce).
Because I’m about to lick the wallpaper, I supplemented with 9 or so sticks of gum. Just to keep my jaws from atrophying. And this is day 1.
The great thing about the app? It tells me “dieting is more fun with friends.” I would say no. There’s no possible way it could be any more fun than it already is.
Lest you think I’m all doom and gloom, no worries. It’s just a mood. Soon enough, the craziness of school events, social obligations, hobbies, and work will work its mind-numbing magic. I’ll find a new race, I’ll knit even faster on those damn retail needles, and I’ll be able to understand David Tennant the first time through. And when that happens, I’ll save all 1200 calories for a night on the town. With all my dieting friends.