I’m posting so early in the a.m. hoping that today is my mulligan for yesterday. All the little things–mostly tech and interwebs related–that could have gone wrong, did. Today is a fresh start, and my fingers are crossed! That being said, I haven’t fussed with my phone yet, and I haven’t gotten into work so….
Mulligans have been on my mind as the Mister and I are at a crossroad with Thing 2. The Reader’s Digest version of her story is that she ditched school last month, and when she couldn’t be found (by neither the school nor I), the police were summoned. She was eventually found at a friend’s home (whose mother had called her in sick), but when the police found Thing 2 and her friend, they were in this basement hangout room that looked like a meth lab, and unfortunately (for everyone involved) when the police went to call this into the station, they walked into the boiler room (which was next to the
meth lab hangout) where they found bongs and other drug-related crap.
In that instant, everyone’s lives changed.
The drug crap was determined to be the mom’s boyfriend’s. The girls claimed to have no knowledge of it. When the friend’s mom called him via cell to ask about it (mentioning that the police were there), you could actually hear him run the hell outa Dodge. Accordingly, the mom was arrested for possession and child endangerment. Thing 2 and her friend were released to me. Thing 2’s friend was eventually picked up by the state child welfare agency (DYFS) and delivered to another relative.
But the fun doesn’t end there. Since Thing 2 was involved, my family is also under investigation. We get both surprise and scheduled visits from DYFS to check on the state of our home, our refrigerator, the kids. The state is also conducting random checks of all three Things’ school records, talking to their teachers, their pediatrician, etc. The case will not close until everything seems consistently normal. When, because I really want to know, is life consistently normal?
This is stressful. Just when it seems to settle down, there’s another visit and stress levels climb once again.
The crux of the matter is that Thing 2 hates school. She always has. Most likely she always will. On good days, she’s ambivalent. Most days, she’s absolutely miserable. My thoughts? Thing 2 needs a mulligan. Take her out of school. Give her an early gap year. Create positive learning experiences so when she goes back into high school, she’s got those to draw from. My family has stepped up to the plate and delivered almost too many viable options, and this has the added attraction of separating her from her friends. The Mister thinks she needs to tough it out. And with tons of support and allies around her, that builds confidence, too. His feeling is, and he’s right, when situations get tough, you can’t just pick up and leave–you’ve got to learn how to get through it.
God, parenting sucks sometimes. I guess this is why we’re paid the big bucks.